If you are in a very good relationship right now and
you are worrying how to ensure it doesn't turn sour like your previous
relationships or other relationships you have witnessed. Then this article
should interest you. One thing you should know is that you are not alone in
your fears they are several people even married couples that seek the same
thing. Well it’s pretty understandable with the increasing amount of divorce
around the world one begins to wonder what happened to all that love the couple
had for each other just a couple of years, months even weeks ago? If you have
followed divorce cases closely you will notice couple [divorcing couples] say
things like their partners suddenly became a different person entirely. I used
to think that was just a lame excuse to wanting out of a relationship but after
I gave some divorce cases a closer look I notice that it was no excuse. These
couples really did “change”. But there is one angle many people never seem to
consider- nobody is changing, what you are seeing is what the person truly is.
The dark part he/she have kept buried when the relationship was at its earliest
stage or the mask your partner wore just to get your attention is gradually
fading away and you realize that what is behind the mask isn't pretty to say
the least. In the midst of these fracas and hypocrisy, the question we find
ourselves asking is where on earth can I find a lasting relationship one where
I know for sure that no one is playing with my feelings or pretending to be
something they are not.
We all want to
be in a peaceful loving relationship, for one a healthy, loving
relationship can enhance many aspects of your life, from your emotional and
mental well-being to your physical health and overall happiness. So how do you
find one or better still how do you turn yours into the kind of relationship
you've always dreamed of?
YOU
ARE NOT PERFECT AND YOUR PARTNER ISN'T EITHER
First, you must acknowledge the fact that you are not
perfect, hence do not expect your partner to be perfect in all their doings. If
you are honest about to yourself there are certain things you do or ways you
act that you aren't too proud of, so learn to accept that there will be things
he/she will do that you will not like but you can either make them change or at
least learn to live with it. It will help ease a lot pressure from both parties.
Each human has a unique personally, we differ from
others in a lot of ways, we have different temperament, different up- bringing
and most importantly different perspective to life. Instead of trying to force
someone to always see things the you do or trying so hard to make yourself view
life form another person’s perspective. I advice you: Appreciate the other
person’s point of view no matter how it appears to you then you calmly [hey I
said calmly-I know some guys are like calmly? YES calmly- She is your lady and
you are a gentleman] explain yours. You will be amazed how much you can share
and learn together this way.
ONE
STEP AT A TIME
Be patient, this is especially for those starting a
new relationship, I know patience is a virtue that few men possess and when it
comes to relationships, we just want things to move with the speed of light.
That is not always the best thing- consider the possibility that he/she might
just be coming out of a bad relationship, and of course they might still be
hurting. Must people start a new relationship when an old one ends because it
is generally believed that that is the easiest way to forget their ex. Am not
saying it’s a bad idea what I do know for sure is; the only one thing for sure
that heals pain and broken hearts it’s TIME. So give your new partner time, let
them open up to you little by little at their own pace.
Yes you may
try a little pressing for answers but don’t over- do it. Each time you press
for answers or pry into their past make sure you send the proper message; you
are doing it because you care and you just want to share more together. But
like I said take things slow.
SPEND
QUALITY TIME TOGETHER
Spend quality time together, I know it sounds so
cliché even a friend of mine was told me “it doesn't work, it’s just cliché I
spent so much time with my last girl still it didn't work”. The one question I
asked him was you- guys spent so much time together doing what? Yes not just
spending the time together, it’s what you do together that counts, do you do things
that will help you learn more about each other, help the relationship grow? Or
you just spend time meeting your selfish sexual needs. When I say spend
time together, I don’t mean. Spend all day in bed or just going to the movies.
Hey don’t get me wrong, sex is good for any normal relationship so is going to
the movies but if you really want your time together to add quality to your
relationship you should consider spending time together alone, go somewhere where
she will be your only focus and he will be your only focus. Some place where
you won’t be distracted by the large cinema screen. A quiet time in a serene
environment will get you and your partner relaxed and you guys can really
discuss what matters- “your relationship”. Also if there is any particular
activity or hobby that you both engage in you should do it together for fun AND for God sake if your partner
doesn't like football there is no point forcing him/her to a football game.
Mutual enjoyment is always important.
COMMUNICATE
Yes please, the reason why humans have this advanced
vocal cord is to communicate. Don’t expect your partner to read the signs you
give them. For some reasons he/she might just not pay attention or might even
misinterpret your signs. Please help your partners make your relationship a
lasting one. Tell them how you feel, if you are happy, express it let they
know. When you are sad let them know when he/she says things that hurt you, get
off your pride and tell him/her. I once spent some weeks with a couple that
were keeping malice. That was a very long time ago yet I still remember each
day. the reason why I always remember that couple is because they are like the
“strangest” couple I have ever seen , you talk to the husband and each time
he’s supposed to mention the wife’s name or he wants me to get something from
his wife he just points to her and if she isn't near, he points in her
direction. It was totally dumb. Be open. Express yourself. You ever wonder why
kids are always happy- they express themselves.
MAKE
PLANS TOGETHER
This is the best way to give your partner the
impression that you consider them a huge part of your life. It’s not enough to
tell them you are one big part of my life or my world is incomplete without
you. Show it, and the best way to do that is to involve them in your life
plans. Involving your partner in your life plans re assures them that you consider
him/her for the long time that you want to build a life with him/her also learn
to take his/her advice am not saying let someone else plan your life for you
but there are times when you realize you need someone to help make a big decision,
that is the time you show him/her you take his/her counsel serious. Nobody
likes giving advice to people who wouldn't take them seriously. Make your
partner feel important in your life.
LISTEN
This is one big problem with some if not most men, I
hear men say “women talk too much” but in return the women say “men never
listen” the truth is it’s not a problem of women talking too much or men not
listening, it just that women talk more than a man is built to listen at a
time. Men are very logical beings while women are more emotional, as much as
the woman see the need to detail every event as it unfold from A.M to P.M a man
is wore interested in the important things that mark the day. So my advice is
especially for the women as tempting as it is to fill your man will your day to
day activity as it unfold try as much as you can to direct more of your focus
to the most important things. That way you keep his attention in the discussion
and for the men I beseech you, please take it as a challenge to listen more to
her.
